Memories that I will not forget

Saturday 19th of September 2009

Was at grandparentshouse with cousins and aunty. Watching drama upstairs but suddenly feel weird and pauses the drama. On the way downstairs, I heard my mum,aunty and grandmother crying. I know something is wrong. My heartbeat rate increases. I quicken my steps to go down and stand on my grandfather's bedside. I cant believe that this is actually happening. My grandfather has leave us. I only can feel my heartbeat that time, and my family's tears. I reacted quickly by taking my aunty's handphone to bring the sad news to the rest of my family. First, my uncle.I was trembling and not know what to do. My uncle pick up the phone and I could not even speak. I was already crying. But then, he knew what had happen and said he will quickly come back. My other uncle and aunty did the same. I could not even say a proper sentence that time. I could only cry and fall back onto a chair. After a few minutes, I quickly went back upstairs to switch off the DVD and pack my stuffs. My mum called my dad,and my aunty call my other uncle which I forgot to call. My mum and I went back to put girlgirl back home. After bathing and having dinner, we went back to my grandmother's house for the funeral. My grandfather is still lying still on the bed when I reach. My cousins reached and was sitting down praying for him. I sat down and did the same,but tears started to flow again when I see my mum cry. We were waiting for my aunty and uncle to buy the coffin and so and for the embalmers to come. There are people outside constructing the tents need for the praying ceremony and my other uncle is there directing the work. The embalmers came and embalm my grandfather while we waited outside. After that, aunty and uncle came back with the coffin so wewaited upstairs while thos people moved my grandfather into the coffin and when the adults as in my grandfather's children started to pray and do some ritual stuff like "feeding" my grandfather with a spoon of rice each. Next we went down to start burning paper "money" for my grandfather. Went back about 12 something that night. My aunty and some uncles stayed at my grandparents house.

SUNDAY 20th of September 2009

Went to grandparents house at 11 something I think. And started to burn more incense paper and folding those paper to be burn later on. Then other cousins arrived. Left onemore eldest cousin in Indonesia, whichis coming back by today noon. Went back at abt 2 sumtin to bath then at 4 sumtin,go back grandparents hse. The sifus all come and start to put up those things and then the praying ceremony starts at 6 sumtin after vegetarian dinner. We all complain abt the red bean soup my auntymade cause it waste tasteless. The ceremony was not fun cause we all had to be sitting on the road with just a thin mat as "cushions". Our legs go cramp. It was worst when we have to kneel on it cause we can feel the stones and rocks there will is very painful. The praying session was up until 12 something and my family left at abt 1+. Most of my uncles and aunty stayed there to take care of everything. They stayed up. Today was actually my aunty and mum's bday, but we cant even celebrate it.

MONDAY 21st of September 2009

After a normal breakfast(as in not vegetarian), we went to my grandparents house again. No one especially one of my uncles can stand eating vegetarian whole day therefore we did not. Ordered Pizza as lunch. Many relatives arrived from Singapore and some other parts of Selangor, which we did not recognise at all. The praying session started abt 6pm again and we did not went back to take bath cause we r not to bath with soap anymore since yesterday until 2moro. We all groan at the thought of it cause we were really uncomfortable feeling dirty. (But we did bath any how) Today's ceremony is more interesting, even though we still do not understand a word from those sifus. Even my grandmother and all adults can only understand about 20%. We had a session where they boil "medicine" for my grandfather to consumed to heal him of his sickness. Normally, the casket will only be closed on the day of burial or cremation, but due to the not good timing on that day, we have to close the casket tonight. It was awful feeling,not albe to see my grandfather ever again. Many of us cried again. After that, we were ushered out to sit back on the rocky road. They have this session where the males will be running around, passing thorugh N,S,E,W doors of the heaven, following a sifu. It started with my eldest uncle. They were to carry this thing with a basket with a lighted candle inside on one end, and a bag of rice on the other end. He could not follow closely to the sifu and even went through it the wrong way. My dad had the camera and I make him take video of this hilarious session. All my uncles and 2 cousins had their turn. Then more praying session and they also got this other session where we have to bring my grandfather cross the bridge to the other life/world while dropping a coin into a pail. today is the last day of praying session, therefor it ended early with burning of all the things that we want my grandfather to have in his afterlife. A big house with servants, a car with driver, clothes, money and so. Then everything ended. Tomorrow will be the day my grandfather will be cremated.

TUESDAY, 22nd of September 2009

Woke up early cause we have to be early at grandparents house. A music band came in and played some songs for my grandfather. Then, the Nirvana set up a place for the ceremony to begin. My grandfather was moved out of the house onto the road outside, behind the table, for a short ceremony to pay our last respect to him. All of us kneel on the road again, while there was a MC there to read out a speech that was prepared by them on our point of view. First is sons and daughters, then they will stand next to my grandfathers casket, while the daughters that were married and the family's turn. Speech was on behalf of my dad and uncle, as *nu xi* Our tears cant seems to sltop flowing. Then is those other relatives turn and we have to bow back at them after that,something like the HK's scene when d frens pay respect then the family have to bow back too. After all family,relatatives and friends pay their last respect, the journey to send my grandfather's body to be cremated begins. We as the filial close family have to walk with him for the last time, sending him off. We are not allowed to wear shoes, only a thin socks and we have to walk quite a distance on the road to send him to the main road. I was sobbing with sadness and pain. Then we went up to the bus that was supposed to send us to Shah Alam Memorial Centre, still bare feet. All of us felt tired from crying and walking on the hot road. After we reached the cremation place, we are to kneel down in front of the altar and the place where my grandfather was to be cremated. The scene is too heart wrenching to be forgotten. All of us cried and my uncles and aunties and my mum cant even stand up as they were hugging each other crying, when my grandfather's casket disappear behind the thing. There goes my grandfather. None of us speak a word after that and went back to my grandparents house to rest before going to there again to pick the bones and remainings. We heard from one of our relatives that the place we booked for our grandfather was changed and was moved to inside a darker side, thus when we reach there again in the afternoon, we went to check it. Indeed, they have did something to the numbering and changed the place that we want to a darker place way behind. The adults argued abit with the management there and so because it is VERY obvious that there were two stickers of number there. Then, we put it aside first and went to collect my grandfather's remains. My aunty broke down at the sight of bones and ashes but then we had to hold back our tears and put the ashes and bones into the urn. My grandfather was moved to this temporary place since the place that we want was not ready and was changed.

After some series of meetings and talking with the management and one superior there, finally we choose a VIP place in another place. My grandfather can finally rest in peace.

(Sorry for the poor grammer since alot of things are in chinese and it is difficult to translate it into English. )

I hope this memory will not be forgotten. Finally finished this post after a long time.