How to Get Along with Me
- Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
- In Intimate Relationships
- Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
- Reassure me often that you love me.
- Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Me
- being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- being generous, caring, and warm
- being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
- being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
- being committed and faithful to family and friends
- being responsible and hardworking
- being compassionate toward others
- having intellect and wit
- being a nonconformist
- confronting danger bravely
- being direct and assertive
What's Hard About Me
- not being able to say no
- having low self-esteem
- feeling drained from overdoing for others
- not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
- working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
- the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
- the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
- procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
- fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
- feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
- feeling guilty when I disappoint people
- feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
- expecting too much from myself and life
- fearing being abandoned
Me as Children Often
- are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- are outwardly compliant
- are popular or try to be popular with other children
- act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)
Me as Parents
- are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
- are often playful with their children
- wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
- can become fiercely protective
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